Different Points of View

Yesterday was the first day of classes for me. My husband stayed home with the kids since they don't go back to school until tommorrow. He also watched two other kids in the neighborhood as there are no camps this week for working parents to send their kids to before school starts. My 13 year old son greeted me when I got home. As I was walking up the driveway with him, I looked all around the yard and the front patio – and saw baseball bats, baseball gloves, baseballs, footballs, bikes laying on their sides, bike helmets, lacrosse rackets, scooters, etc. I turned to my son, sighed, and asked, “What do you suppose the neighbors think when they see this mess in front of our house?” He looked at me and said, without pause, “They think healthy active kids live here.”

He won that one.

Teamwork

Two weeks ago my husband and I took the two youngest kids white water rafting on a 5 mile Class 1 (the easiest) stretch of the Genesee River. This was designed for beginners – and there were families there with children much younger – and smaller – then ours! It was the first time for all of us – and we had a blast. In reflecting back on the experience, there was something about the excursion that I enjoyed just as much as the thrill of doing it. It was the teamwork needed to navigate the river.

Everyone who had signed up for this (about 40 people) had the choice of navigating their boat with or without a guide. I leaned over and whispered in my husband's ear that maybe we should opt for a guide in our boat. You know, since it was our first time and we had two kids with us and all. My husband gently whispers back "NO (insert swearword here) WAY!" So – if you opt out of having a guide in your boat then you need to appoint one person as the leader. This person sits in the back of the boat and tells everyone else what to do. My husband thought I’d be good in this role.

However, at my insistence, my husband was appointed the leader of our boat. I grew up in central New Jersey. I have no experience with boats in water. He grew up in the Finger Lakes region of New York. He has lots of experience with boats in water. It turns out I made the right call.

Everyone needed to work together to get through the spots where the water ran faster and rougher. Everyone also needed to listen to the boat leader – who had the more global perspective of maneuvering through the water from the back of the boat. It was these two factors – listening and working together - that made this event such a great learning experience for each of us.

My youngest daughter is a natural leader – only at age 10 she hasn’t yet refined this skill enough to add diplomacy to it. She had to learn not to be on the lookout for what her older brother might be doing wrong, that it wasn’t her role to correct him if she thought he was doing something wrong, and not to contradict the boat leader’s instructions if she disagreed with him. Simply put, she had to learn she couldn’t be the boss (or bossy – whatever fits).

My youngest son does not like to be told what to do. Nor does he like to be wrong in any way. He is 13. He had to learn to not be defensive when being told what to do. He also had to learn that just because he was being told to do one thing and then – quick – do something else instead (as in “paddle FORWARD – now BACK, HOLD!) didn’t mean he was doing something wrong - just do it.

This was an eye opening experience for me. I loved how we had to work as a team to negotiate the river – and had to depend on each other to do his or her part. I loved watching how my two youngest had to get over their desire to constantly annoy each other and instead work together. There was no time for arguing, no time for blame, no time to monitor who did more or what wasn’t fair. No arguing at all – just learning to work together.

I’ve always tried to work on teaching my children how to work as a team – but being kids and all – they are more interested in monitoring what the other one is doing. And reporting loudly about the unfairness of what each one got stuck doing. You can’t do that when your raft is stuck on a rock and you’ve all got to work together to get off the rock.

I saw my role as a parent in a whole different light. I also saw what I was missing. It isn't just about teaching your children how to navigate rivers on their own. It's also learning/knowing what baggage you need to get rid of in order to work together to accomplish a goal. I'm struggling to put this in words - but I do know that I need to provide more of these type of real life experiences to help them.

~Swingset

Daily Goals

The fall semester starts next week. As I prepare the goals for the classes I'm teaching this next semester, I started thinking about setting some personal goals of my own. One of the issues I've been examining for my next 50 years has been how to find balance in my life between my career, my family, and my self. So I came up with a set of daily goals for myself:

1. Write every day.
2. Draw every day.
3. Exercise every day.
4. Listen to music that I want to listen to every day.
5. Encourage my children every day.
6. Let my family know that I love them every day.
7. Do not work after 5:00 pm on weekdays.
8. Do not work on weekends.

I don't have any answers yet - but creating this list might get me on the right track. I'll work on why I have a tough time finding balance tomorrow.

~Swingset

Caramel Apples

My kids love to go to the grocery store with me. Why? Because they know that by distracting me they can get me to say yes to all kinds of goodies. They are masters at this. They also offer to help by going off on search missions for items on the list. They bring back the desired item and slip in extras. They know what snacks are my weakness and will also bring these back to the cart. I am defenseless against this type of tactic.

So tonight we had to go get something for dinner. I was determined to be strong. I said no to everything. I didn’t let anything slip past my eagle eye. Then they tried a new tactic. They asked permission. They actually asked me if we could make caramel apples. They actually asked! How could I resist!

So my daughter and I just took two caramel apples out of the oven and are waiting for them to cool. This is such a great snack! I might actually save those Pringles I stashed under my bed for another time.

~Swingset

Booking Through Thursday: Recent Best

This weeks Booking Through Thursday posting asks what is the best book you've read recently. It would be The Help by Kathryn Stockett - which I just finished two days ago. This was our most recent book club selection - and I highly recommend it. The book examines how three courageous women from Jackson, Mississippi in 1962, rise above the roles they were born into during a time when our nation was struggling with segregation and racism.

It will soon be my turn for a book club selection and I still haven't decided what I'm going to pick. Any suggestions?



~Swingset

Zombies

One of the courses I developed teaches students how to write code for computer games on a cell phone. When we get to the part where you learn the code to move an animated character around the screen, one of the animation examples I use is a green zombie. When developing the example, I did a Google search for zombies and came across a blog that posed the following question:

You are backed into an alley by a pack of zombies. You have:

1. One weapon
2. One song blasting on the radio
3. One famous person to fight alongside you

Me:

1. A crowbar.
2. Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival.
3. Buffy. I never got the whole Edward/Twilight attraction thing when the movie came out. When I saw this video, I knew I’d want Buffy by my side when the zombies attack. Buffy rules.

How about you?

Socks

So – I was putting some socks in my sock drawer today thinking I needed to get some more socks. As I tried to shove the clean socks in the drawer, poking in those socks that were sticking their little heads out the top of the drawer and gasping for air, I realized that I must already own about 100 socks.

There is a reason for this.

In 6th grade I only had one pair of socks that didn’t have holes in them. They were a pair of white polyester knee socks. We had a music teacher who taped a scale of piano keys (starting with C) on the floor at the front of the class. Each day she would call on a student to come up, take off their shoes, and stand on the first key in the scale. She would then call out a note and you would then move to step on the corresponding piano key.

I wore those white polyester knee socks to school every single day until my name was called to take my turn on those piano keys. To this day I can not identify the keys on a piano. My daughter – when she was 7 – tried to teach me but I was incapable of remembering. I am, however, prepared for the event that I may have to take my shoes off at any given moment.

~Swingset