Note To Self

I will not acquire any more effin' pets that require aquariums, large amounts of water, filters, pumps, heating elements, UV lights, warming rocks, bedding of any kind, or water bottles.

No pets that poop in a cage.

No cute little bunnies, cool turtles, nifty tadpoles that morph to fantastic frogs, caterpillars that become butterflies, entertaining hermit crabs, bearded dragons, lizards, salamanders, fish, baby ducks, geese or chickens. No birds. Even if they sing.

Note to those who live with me: Intervention may be required.

First Triathlon of the year: Aftermath

I'm home in time for Sunday Breakfast! The rest of my family went out for breakfast while I did the biking portion of the triathlon. But I hate to miss my bacon and egg Sunday breakfast - so I cooked it for myself when I got home from the race.

This year's YMCA triathlon was much more difficult for me than last year's race. I was much better prepared - and in much better shape - last year.

This year I got really sick about two months before the race. I came down with a sinus infection with a fever that lasted 5 days. Then I developed bronchitis. I was unable to train for about 4 weeks - and then I was so winded as I tried to swim or run.

I almost didn't do the race. My husband encouraged me to try anyway - that it didn't matter how long it took me - that finishing in itself is an accomplishment - not how quickly you do it.

So I did it. And I finished. I might have come in last again this year - but I finished. And it was really tough.

The swim was good - it was a short 9 laps. (I can't believe I just wrote that! Last year this time I was just able to do the 9 laps and had just learned to breath properly.)

The biking was tough at first - my thighs would scream at me up each hill. However, I got in a rhythm about 3 miles in (15 miles total) and my legs just kept pumpin' away.

The run was really tough! It was 4.7 miles of sheer determination to finish. My legs were like rubber at first, then they turned to lead.

The credit for finishing really goes to those I love.

J - my husband - for encouraging and supporting me every step of the way. I kept hearing him say to me - what are your goals?

DJ - my oldest son who taught me to keep going no matter what you are faced with. He never let his disabilities get in the way of his joy for life.

E - my oldest daughter whose recent trek to New Zealand inspired me to keep taking one more step. I can always do one more step.

A - my youngest son who has true athletic ability. I had to have something to do with that, didn't I? Say yes!

M - my youngest daughter who has sheer determination and true grit. This little girl has an amazing ability to pick herself back up after a fall and keep going.

Okay - I know I'm getting all sentimental and gushy. I am allowed to do that today.

~Swingset

First Triathlon of the year: YMCA

I'm off to my first triathlon of the year.

~Swingset

My own literary diversity

I love books. I love the opportunity to talk about books. I came across a series of questions designed to identify whether or not one's reading is diverse from a blog, Alone With Each Other, that I occasionally drop in on. Many of the books listed below were selections from book clubs I’ve been in or am currently in. However, in many cases I've enjoyed the author's writing so much that I continued to read other books by those same authors.

So when I came across this list of questions in another blog, I couldn’t resist posting my own here – and added the books I listen to on tape (I have an 85 minute commute):

Name the last book by a female author that you've read.

Audio: Gosh, most of my recent audio books have been by women! To Kill a Mocking Bird by Harper Lee; Monsters of Templeton by Lauren Groff; Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte; Paint it Black by Janet Fitch. I’ve listened to all of these from September 2008 up to two weeks ago – when I finished To Kill a Mocking Bird.

Every one of these books was a wonderful experience to listen to.

Books: The Lace Reader by Brunonia Barry (January 2009); The Daily Coyote by Shreve Stockton (December 2008). I tend to read more books by women. It’s not a deliberate choice – I just seem to be drawn in more by the story.

Name the last book by an African or African-American author that you've read.

Audio: Always Outnumbered, Always Outgunned, Walking the Dog, Devil in a Blue Dress all by Walter Mosley (Fall 2006); The Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith (February 2007)

Books: One of my favorite authors is both African-American and a woman. I love Zora Neale Hurston’s writing. I was first introduced to her through a book club pick – Their Eyes Were Watching God (August 2006). I loved her writing so much that I later picked up Seraph on the Suwannee (October 2007). I’ve also read and enjoyed The Known World by Edward P. Jones (May 2005), and Tears of the Giraffe by Alexander McCall Smith (June 2007).

Name one from a Latino/a author.

Audio: Zorro by Isabel Allende (December 2006)

Books: Another easy one for me. Isabelle Allende is another one of my favorite authors. I started with her book The House of Spirits (another book club selection August 2003). This one is on my list to read again. I was so thrilled with her writing I went on to read Daughter of Fortune (May 2006) and Portrait in Sepia (April 2008).

How about one from an Asian country or Asian-American?

Audio: The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck.

Books: I just finished reading SnowFlower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See. It was last months book club selection. One book that I have read by choice was A Good Scent From a Strange Mountain by Robert Olen Butler. This is a compilation of short stories about Vietnamese immigrants in New Orleans. Vietnamese immigrants in New Orleans? Who could resist that? I read this book in July of 2006 and I am still haunted by images from some of the stories within. From Spring of 1995 to 2001 I read a lot by Amy Tan.

What about a GLBT writer?

Well – I didn’t know what GLBT meant. And I live in Ithaca. And I couldn’t even make a guess based on the blog I found these questions in. So I googled GLBT and found it stands for Gay Lesbian Bi-Sexual Trans-Gender. Okay – but I still didn’t know of any authors I read that fit into this category – until I found a list of GLBT authors.

Books: Willa Cather. I love her writing and have been working my way through all of her novels since I first read My Antonia in October of 1999. Another book I still think about and want to read again is The Country of the Pointed Firs (August 2004) by Sarah Orne Jewet. Like Cather, Jewet is a master at creating vivid descriptions of the setting her novels take place in. Other authors include, but are not limited to, David Sedaris, Anais Nin, Virginia Woolf, William Carlos Williams. Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and Gregory Maguire.

Lastly, there is another blog I follow, You Would Think. I love the author's writing style and point of view on life and am eagerly awaiting to read her first published work.

Why not name an Israeli/Arab/Turk/Persian writer, if you're feeling lucky?

I read Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Fafisi in Spring of 2005. Middle East novels seem to be a popular theme with both the book clubs I’m currently in – and I’m beginning to feel like I’ve been reading the same story (albeit well-written) too many times. In the past year alone I’ve read The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khalid Hosseini, The Space Between Us by Thrity Umrigar

Any other "marginalized" authors you've read lately?

Books: If Native American is considered marginalized, then I’d include Louise Erdrich. I read The Master Butcher’s Singing Club in July of 2002, The Painted Drum in September of 2006, and have her Love Medicine in the queue.

Your turn....

~Swingset

Feeling Overwhelmed

It’s been a long while since I last posted. There are several reasons for this.

First, I’d been experiencing a feeling of overwhelming doom that started after my oldest son died that just kept getting worse. I’m learning that this is a common symptom of grief. I’m starting to feel better. It was gradual – where I’d have a day or two each week where I didn’t feel that way. The past month or so has been much better.

The other reason is because this semester has been an extremely busy one for me. I was asked to serve as Interim Chair of our department while our Chair was on sabbatical. In addition, I kept my normal course load because we needed the extra money. I’ve had very little time for anything extraneous.

I’ve turned the corner on my work load and am managing my grief better – so I’m ready to return to the things I love. Spending more time with my family, my artwork, and my new blog.

My first goal for my next 50

When I moved to Ithaca in August of 2006, one of the first things I noticed was how many runners there were here. I was not particularly athletic and I was also overweight. I thought I might give this running thing a try. My very first attempt was that fall – under cover of night. I didn’t want anyone to see me run.

Night 1: The sun sets. It is pitch black outside. I talk my two youngest kids into going with me. I start running down the street and the first thing that happens is I wet my pants. I go home humiliated. Remember – I have had four children.

Night 2: The sun sets. I try again – better prepared. I talk my two youngest children into running with me (they were 8 and 10 at the time). I run down the street – which is all downhill. I go about 1/8 of a mile and turn around. I now have to run uphill. As I’m huffing and puffing up the hill, my children are skipping sideways along side of me. It is also garbage night – so they run off to inspect everyone’s garbage and run back to me – chattering away. I cannot answer them.

Night 3: There is no more running.

Night 4: I take up Tai Chi.

My next attempt at running was in May of 2007 – I decided to try running a quarter of a mile on a trail by our house. It was tough! I was out of breath and I wanted to quit - but I made myself finish. I thought I’d try again the next day. After about two weeks, when I realized that it was getting easier, I decided to make a little rule: I had to add a bit of distance on to each run – or - run at least as far as I did in the previous run. By the end of the summer I found I could run almost 3 miles. When I realized I was almost running the same distance as a 5K race – and there were certainly a lot of 5K races around this town - I decided to sign up for one that September.

My first race - for the ASPCA

I was so nervous – I couldn’t sleep the night before the race! I came in third to the last – I beat the two walkers. But I finished!!!







So I tried another race a month later!


Finishing hard!





I was also turning 50 that fall and had been thinking about setting some goals for my next 50 years. I thought that if I could learn to run then maybe I could learn to swim. I started my first swimming class at the local YMCA in the fall of 2007. I just kept taking their swimming class over and over again all winter until I learned how to front crawl. Then I learned about a triathlon that the Y holds each May. I thought that if I could be comfortable with the breathing – and be able to swim 8 laps in 15 minutes – then maybe I could do the triathlon. I started practicing swimming twice a week (in addition to continuing with the swimming class) to become comfortable with the breathing and make the time requirement. I started running further so I could run the 5 miles. I knew how to ride a bike but had barely ridden on one in 20 or more years. So as soon as the winter weather subsided, I started bike riding. I ran, swam, and biked all through March and April of 2008.

On May 4th, 2008 I raced my first triathlon! I came in last – but I finished!!!

Then I started looking at what could be next. Triathlons with lake swimming. Half mile distances in lakes. I needed a lot of work to be able to swim a half of a mile in a lake. The Finger Lakes Tri was on September 21st at Canandaigua Lake. I practiced swimming all summer. I practiced biking all summer (well – not as much as I should have!). I started running longer distances. I ran 5 mile distances two mornings during the week and 5 to 9 mile distances on Sundays. This race also offered a triathlon for kids - so I signed both of my children up (ages 10 and 12 at that time).

The morning of September 21st found me in a wetsuit in Canandaigua Lake waiting for the gun. The swim was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I fought panic for about 3/4’s of the swim. But I did it – and finished last in this race too! My children had a great time too! It was so cool to have them be a part of this journey!


Coming in last place at the Finger Lakes Tri


I had the support of my husband, my children, and two of my neighbors (who have since become my very good friends) – and could not have done any of this without any of them.

My husband provided me with both emotional and motivational support from that first day I decided to try running. My children were very concerned about me running alone in the early mornings. All that summer they would get up with me no matter how early it was – and my son would run by my side while my daughter would ride her bike.

My two neighbors were the runners who inspired me to run in the first place. I couldn’t let anyone see me run in the beginning – so for a long time I wouldn’t run when these two neighbors were out running for fear of letting them see how slow I was. I did finally I overcome that fear and started running with them. These two incredible women – Brenda and Cindy - provided me with a lot of advice and support.

Brenda is a marathon runner and during her early training we ran many mornings together before the sun came up. It is because of her encouragement that I started running distances greater than 5 miles. She gave me a training program to follow and taught me how to interval train. She ran by my side for my second 5K (The Zeppy Run) when she could have easily left me in the dust. Brenda counted my swimming laps for me at the YMCA Tri and again ran by my side during the run part of it. When I got home from the race I found a gift from her on my front porch – a recovery drink and a bottle of wine!

Cindy is a runner and a swimmer. She gave me a lot of advice about how to get the hang of this breathing thing when I was learning to front crawl! She is also a registered sports dietician - and gave me nutritional advice to keep me strong and healthy and to help me maintain the endurance I needed during the races. Cindy also ran the first 5K that I ran, and helped to ease the nervousness I felt. Since I had never run a race before I did not know what to expect and she assured me I would be able to finish.
I talked Cindy into doing the YMCA triathlon too! She and I did a lot of training for that together. The YMCA was also her first triathlon – and she shared all my angst and nervousness regarding the magnitude of what we’d gotten ourselves into! On the morning of the YMCA-Tri Cindy made sure I had my sports drink, water, gel packs. Check, check, check, I said. Then she scotch-taped two red licorice twizzlers to my bike handles. I loved that – two red twizzlers! She also did the Finger Lakes Triathlon with me and her son participated in the Kids Tri with my two children.

Oh – I almost forgot! I’ve lost 30 pounds since the day I started to run! 15 more to go!

I owe my success to these two amazing women, my children, and my husband. I still think back to those first few weeks after moving here and seeing my two neighbors going out for a run…. and marvel at the chain of events that has transpired since then.


Me, Brenda, and Cindy

Addendum

I’ve been thinking about my last posting and it occurred to me that there is a strong correlation between what I have described about each of my children as toddlers and what they seem to most need from me as their mother. This may have been obvious to someone else – but I really didn’t see it until I went and re-read what I had written – and then mulled it over for a week or two.

Starting with my youngest – M – it is strength I can give her. My little tiger. She has great inner strength.

Then my youngest son A. For him it is comfort. He is affectionate, loving, and supportive.

E, my oldest daughter. I will always be here for her when she needs me. I will do my best to be the calm port in a stormy sea for her.

I didn’t write about my oldest son, DJ, in my last post. I will write about him, but right now it is too painful. He was born with a rare seizure disorder that doctors were never able to get under control. He was mentally retarded, had mild cerebral palsy, neurological impairments that prevented him from speaking clearly, and poor fine motor skills.

For DJ it is different. He taught me. He taught me about unconditional love, about my own inner strength, and about compassion for others. He made me aware of these things and more – and his presence in my life made me a better person, and a better parent.